It's a new year, and along with it, a new way of life for us in the Moore home.

If you remember, one year ago, Brent was in the ICU at IMED with a hematocrit of 16, which is critical. Normal range for iron levels is 40+. That started a year of many questions and few answers. He ended up receiving approximately 30 units of blood, numerous iron infusions and a new drug costing $13,000 a shot which he gets every 8 weeks. He has not had to have any blood transfusions since August. His hematocrit went up and down all year long, with a slight upward trend. Right now he is receiving iron infusions every 2 weeks, and the Stelara every 8 weeks. Something is obviously working to his benefit, because as of 3 weeks ago, his crit was at 37! That was a miracle in and of itself.

With the increase in his blood levels, Brent has energy again. It is weird. It is very weird. The kids and I don't really know what to think. For so long, he has had no energy whatsoever. We were discussing the fact that David was 8 when Brent first got really sick in January of 2006. David is now 17. For half of his life, his Dad has been really sick, barely clinging to life in some instances. The atmosphere in our home has been kind of quiet and somber, because Brent is usually asleep or too sick to handle lots of noise and people. We have become accustomed to being quiet, waiting on him, and always, ALWAYS vacating the recliner if he comes into the living room. We became used to his moods of anger and frustration, and tried to not take things personally.

Fast forward to now, January 1, 2014. Brent is at a movie with Tina and David. I am home alone (I quite enjoy that) and last Saturday he and I attended a Mannheim Steamroller concert in Salt Lake. When the kids were all home over Christmas, he came into the living room and whoever was in his chair immediately got up and moved. He said "Geez, you guys don't have to vacate every time I walk into the room." We are just so used to things being that way. He is joking with the kids, and we see the old Brent peeking through.

I am not complaining, by any means. We are extremely thankful for the the many blessings and miracles that have occurred in our lives over the past 8 years. Just as we all had to change and conform to our new way of life 8 years ago, we have to change and conform back to some semblance of normalcy again. It is not easy. It has been a very long and difficult time for us, and we grew and changed permanently in many ways. We will not ever be who we once were. We have been through too much for us to ever be the same. We are stronger, better, braver, and much more humble and grateful.

I find myself kind of lost. I have put my entire being into taking care of Brent for so long that I don't know what to do with myself, or what I even want to do with myself. It is such a foreign feeling. I am on a quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. :)

The kids are the same way, not knowing what to think about having some of their old Dad back. It is awesome. We have truly been blessed. When we look back at what Brent has fought through and survived over the past 8 years, it really is a miracle that he is still with us. I would have given up many times, but he kept fighting against all odds, amazing his team of doctors, nutritionists, and surgeon.

We are not stupid enough to think that this is the end. We have been here before, and know that his condition changes in seconds. We know that he will never be truly healthy ever again, but we are thankful for how healthy he is right now. We will take each amazing good day as it comes and make the best of it. We will continue to watch with amazement as Brent works in his wood shop, builds things again, carves things again, does the dishes and laundry while I am at work, goes to work each day to an amazing job with the best people ever, eats normal food, and goes to movies and concerts.

We started 2013 in the ICU, and ended 2013 happily at home. We are ready for whatever 2014 has to offer, good or bad. It almost feels like some sense of achievement. We made it. We survived another crazy year. We are back.