So I’m not really sure which direction my roller coaster is going right now. Is it that moment when you’re slowly going up and you’re filled with fear and trepidation? Is it the out of control wind through your hair screaming as you are falling downward? Or is it the flying uncontrollably derailment? Whatever it is I want off.
We were blessed to have Brent come home yesterday. It’s always nerve wracking because, well, just because.
Today I rushed him to the ER with severe chest pains. The ER in Provo. Nuff said.
They determined he was not having a heart attack but could not figure out why he was in so much pain. They consulted Brents cardio team in Murray and they all decided he needed to be transported to IMED. He got a nauseating ride in an ambulance to IMED.
Covid sucks. Nuff said. Not looking for pity, just being raw and honest. I sat outside the ER doors and sobbed uncontrollably. Joseph came. Tina came. We all sat there and waited.
The Dr called me and explained what was happening. He was getting ready to transport him. I asked if I could say goodbye. He came out and got me and we were able to say our goodbyes. We saw the ambulance arrive and waited until they brought him out and waved and yelled. The paramedics waved me over, said not to tell anyone, and I got one more hug. So thankful.
When he got to IMED they repeated blood work and the heart attack indicator was now through the roof. He was indeed having a heart attack. We were able to talk and Dr Chan also talked to me telling me what was happening. She said he was headed to the cath lab for an angiogram. Insert a tender mercy here. Michelle got a phone call from her old roommate and friend that she saw his name and stayed to be his cath lab nurse. Thank so much Lindsay.
The angiogram was quick and they found a clot in his front artery. They were able to remove it.
Brent is now scheduled for open heart surgery on Thursday. We can’t risk any more damage to the heart.
This is all just so crazy. It’s frightening. It’s risky. It just plain sucks.
He’s tired. He’s frustrated. He’s scared. And by he, I mean we.
If you feel so inclined, our friend gang is fasting and praying on Thursday. Feel free to add your prayers, good thoughts, vibes, whatever it is you do or believe in. I’m sorry to sound so dramatic all the time. This is a big one. The risks are higher the second time around. He still has staph epi floating around. He’s tired and weak. I pray that he is blessed with the strength and endurance he so needs right now.
Oh what a difference a day makes.
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Monday, June 29, 2020
So, when I left the hospital last night at 10:30, we weren’t sure whether Brent would be able to come home anytime soon, or if he would be headed in for heart surgery. Alls we knew for certain was that the visitor restrictions would go into effect this morning due to the rising numbers of covid in Utah. As heartbreaking as it was to leave last night, I drove the 40 minute drive home relatively calm. I thought to myself, wow, someone is praying for me because I should be hysterical right now. (We all know how calm, cool, and collected I am.) not.
We both slept unusually well last night and then I got a text saying he was going to be discharged today. 😳. Ok. It was one of those situations where they weren’t doing anything there that we can’t do at home. We are perfectly capable of doing IV antibiotics at home and have done so many times.
There is still no surgical plan in place to replace the heart valve. We have an appt with our infectious disease doc on Thursday. After that appt we will decide if it is sooner rather than later. Yes, the valve definitely needs to be replaced as he is showing signs of heart failure. However, it is not emergent at this point. By ‘sooner’ we mean in the next week. By ‘later’ we mean within the next few weeks.
As always, the plan can change at any given moment.
There have been many times throughout all of this (the past 14 1/2 yrs) where we have without a doubt felt the power of your love, concern, prayers, positive vibes, etc. so strongly. This has definitely been one of those times. There has been so much uncertainty and despair but just when I feel like I was sinking, someone throws me a life jacket. Someone, somewhere petitioned for strength or peace or sleep or hope, and that petition was heard and granted. From the very bottom of our hearts we thank you. We have a testimony of the power of prayer. The power of friendship. The power of service. The power of priesthood blessings. The power of God.
Is everything ok? Is Brent better? No. Not at all. But we are given the strength and wisdom and power to accept the decisions made and the course that he needs to take. For this and all of you we are thankful.
We both slept unusually well last night and then I got a text saying he was going to be discharged today. 😳. Ok. It was one of those situations where they weren’t doing anything there that we can’t do at home. We are perfectly capable of doing IV antibiotics at home and have done so many times.
There is still no surgical plan in place to replace the heart valve. We have an appt with our infectious disease doc on Thursday. After that appt we will decide if it is sooner rather than later. Yes, the valve definitely needs to be replaced as he is showing signs of heart failure. However, it is not emergent at this point. By ‘sooner’ we mean in the next week. By ‘later’ we mean within the next few weeks.
As always, the plan can change at any given moment.
There have been many times throughout all of this (the past 14 1/2 yrs) where we have without a doubt felt the power of your love, concern, prayers, positive vibes, etc. so strongly. This has definitely been one of those times. There has been so much uncertainty and despair but just when I feel like I was sinking, someone throws me a life jacket. Someone, somewhere petitioned for strength or peace or sleep or hope, and that petition was heard and granted. From the very bottom of our hearts we thank you. We have a testimony of the power of prayer. The power of friendship. The power of service. The power of priesthood blessings. The power of God.
Is everything ok? Is Brent better? No. Not at all. But we are given the strength and wisdom and power to accept the decisions made and the course that he needs to take. For this and all of you we are thankful.
Sunday, June 28, 2020
I’m truly not sure what to post today. We are fighting extreme emotions, confusion, lack of a plan, and just plain fatigue.
Yesterday started out great, with a plan in place to discharge Brent today, remaining on the IV antibiotics and to continue to wait out the original six weeks and then re evaluate the options of TAVR or open heart to replace the valve. Cool.
Dr Caine asked another cardiologist to review the echo, who is a specialist in that area. He came in and said that the valve is definitely failing and needs replacement. He does not recommend the TAVR procedure. He said that the valve is still showing signs of the staph epi. A clean culture just means he is on antibiotics and not necessarily that the valve is clean. He recommended surgery earlier than later. Not emergent though. He was still of the opinion that Brent could go home today unless Dr Caine decided to do surgery Monday, then it would be stupid to go home. The ultimate decision maker would be Dr Caine.
But wait, let’s throw another wrench in the plan. Brent started running a fever last night. We are fairly certain it is another line infection because of the timing of when they started his TPN and when the fever started. His blood pressure was also high. So, disconnected the TPN. Fevers never got worse but never went away either. Still running a fever today. Blood pressure is back down though. Took six people to finally get a peripheral IV in. 🙄.
Dr this morning said they would pull the PICC. She contacted Infectious Disease to see if they should put another in. You can’t run TPN through a peripheral IV. ID said to not take the PICC out yet because the fever could also be a side effect of the daptomycin (antibiotic.) soooooo, who knows what’s going on. They’ve done blood work and are doing some IV fluids.
I stayed last night. I wasn’t supposed to but I didn’t ask. The nurse didn’t even notice till about 3:00 this morning.
Regardless of what the new plan is, today is my last day at the hospital. My stomach is in knots thinking about leaving him here alone. This just doesn’t make any sense to me. Who will advocate for all of these patients now that their families won’t be allowed to be with them? Who will give the medical people information they need to know when a patient is intubated and can’t talk? The nurses are so overworked they can’t do it. Brent is nowhere near a normal patient. I can’t even think about it. But I do. It’s killing me. And I know it’s not about me, it’s about him, but he and I are we. Over the past 35 years I’ve never not been able to be with him during a crisis. Just the thought of him going through open heart surgery and me being either in the parking lot or somewhere else is very emotionally disconcerting.
What to pray for? I have no clue. Guess we’ll see what the rest of today brings.
Yesterday started out great, with a plan in place to discharge Brent today, remaining on the IV antibiotics and to continue to wait out the original six weeks and then re evaluate the options of TAVR or open heart to replace the valve. Cool.
Dr Caine asked another cardiologist to review the echo, who is a specialist in that area. He came in and said that the valve is definitely failing and needs replacement. He does not recommend the TAVR procedure. He said that the valve is still showing signs of the staph epi. A clean culture just means he is on antibiotics and not necessarily that the valve is clean. He recommended surgery earlier than later. Not emergent though. He was still of the opinion that Brent could go home today unless Dr Caine decided to do surgery Monday, then it would be stupid to go home. The ultimate decision maker would be Dr Caine.
But wait, let’s throw another wrench in the plan. Brent started running a fever last night. We are fairly certain it is another line infection because of the timing of when they started his TPN and when the fever started. His blood pressure was also high. So, disconnected the TPN. Fevers never got worse but never went away either. Still running a fever today. Blood pressure is back down though. Took six people to finally get a peripheral IV in. 🙄.
Dr this morning said they would pull the PICC. She contacted Infectious Disease to see if they should put another in. You can’t run TPN through a peripheral IV. ID said to not take the PICC out yet because the fever could also be a side effect of the daptomycin (antibiotic.) soooooo, who knows what’s going on. They’ve done blood work and are doing some IV fluids.
I stayed last night. I wasn’t supposed to but I didn’t ask. The nurse didn’t even notice till about 3:00 this morning.
Regardless of what the new plan is, today is my last day at the hospital. My stomach is in knots thinking about leaving him here alone. This just doesn’t make any sense to me. Who will advocate for all of these patients now that their families won’t be allowed to be with them? Who will give the medical people information they need to know when a patient is intubated and can’t talk? The nurses are so overworked they can’t do it. Brent is nowhere near a normal patient. I can’t even think about it. But I do. It’s killing me. And I know it’s not about me, it’s about him, but he and I are we. Over the past 35 years I’ve never not been able to be with him during a crisis. Just the thought of him going through open heart surgery and me being either in the parking lot or somewhere else is very emotionally disconcerting.
What to pray for? I have no clue. Guess we’ll see what the rest of today brings.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Quick update.
Not much to report actually. Brent is feeling much better after losing 5-6 liters of fluid since last night. 😲.
We are waiting for the official word on the echo and to see if they need to do a TEE or not.
Preliminary plans are to continue the IV antibiotics at home, along with lasix to keep the fluid off until the six weeks are up. At that time they will re evaluate the heart valve and determine if it can be replaced by doing minimally evasive catheter surgery or full open heart. The valve has been damaged and is not functioning well enough to keep the fluid buildup from happening.
So, being cautiously optimistic about avoiding immediate surgery right now. As for release date, we still don’t know that.
Here’s my soapbox, so you can stop reading now. I won’t be offended. I won’t even know!
When I leave on Sunday I will not be permitted to return to the hospital. Covid numbers are through the roof. If you think it’s a bunch of bull, numbers are skewed, a political farce, or that we are being manipulated and are victims of fear mongering, perhaps some of it is true, but for the most part I beg to differ with you. It is real. It is affecting families. It is affecting our family. The hospitals ARE suffering, and being filled which in turn affects those who do not have covid being able to get the care they need. I could go on. I’ve pretty much remained silent on social media concerning my thoughts on this. I’ve unfollowed many people because I can’t handle the stress of their posts. We can agree to disagree. We’re still family and friends, I just can’t take it emotionally right now. I think I’m correct in my research and stance and you may think exactly the opposite in your stance and research. For every study, statistic, medical professional, or personal opinion, there is an equal number of studies, statistics, medical professionals and personal opinions to refute it. 🤷🏻♀️ Can we all just agree that it needs to stop? Can we all just agree that each human being is precious in the sight of God? We are all fighting our own dragons. Just be nice. Stop telling me I’m an idiot for wearing a mask. Just be nice.
Ok, I’ve stepped off my soapbox. Can we all agree that there is power in prayer, positive vibes, etc? We feel them and we are appreciative of your love and concern and all that you do or offer to do, even though we never take you up on it. It means so much. The texts, the love, the virtual hugs, etc. may you be blessed in your lives as you serve us in ours.
Brent & Lisa (although the soapbox part is strictly Lisa) 💞🙏🤞
Not much to report actually. Brent is feeling much better after losing 5-6 liters of fluid since last night. 😲.
We are waiting for the official word on the echo and to see if they need to do a TEE or not.
Preliminary plans are to continue the IV antibiotics at home, along with lasix to keep the fluid off until the six weeks are up. At that time they will re evaluate the heart valve and determine if it can be replaced by doing minimally evasive catheter surgery or full open heart. The valve has been damaged and is not functioning well enough to keep the fluid buildup from happening.
So, being cautiously optimistic about avoiding immediate surgery right now. As for release date, we still don’t know that.
Here’s my soapbox, so you can stop reading now. I won’t be offended. I won’t even know!
When I leave on Sunday I will not be permitted to return to the hospital. Covid numbers are through the roof. If you think it’s a bunch of bull, numbers are skewed, a political farce, or that we are being manipulated and are victims of fear mongering, perhaps some of it is true, but for the most part I beg to differ with you. It is real. It is affecting families. It is affecting our family. The hospitals ARE suffering, and being filled which in turn affects those who do not have covid being able to get the care they need. I could go on. I’ve pretty much remained silent on social media concerning my thoughts on this. I’ve unfollowed many people because I can’t handle the stress of their posts. We can agree to disagree. We’re still family and friends, I just can’t take it emotionally right now. I think I’m correct in my research and stance and you may think exactly the opposite in your stance and research. For every study, statistic, medical professional, or personal opinion, there is an equal number of studies, statistics, medical professionals and personal opinions to refute it. 🤷🏻♀️ Can we all just agree that it needs to stop? Can we all just agree that each human being is precious in the sight of God? We are all fighting our own dragons. Just be nice. Stop telling me I’m an idiot for wearing a mask. Just be nice.
Ok, I’ve stepped off my soapbox. Can we all agree that there is power in prayer, positive vibes, etc? We feel them and we are appreciative of your love and concern and all that you do or offer to do, even though we never take you up on it. It means so much. The texts, the love, the virtual hugs, etc. may you be blessed in your lives as you serve us in ours.
Brent & Lisa (although the soapbox part is strictly Lisa) 💞🙏🤞
Thursday, June 25, 2020
Well, unfortunately we’re back. This time in the ACVU (Acute Cardiovascular Unit.)
We’ve just been chilling at home doing everything we were supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, Brent started showing signs of heart failure. He’s been gaining a whole lot of fluid and today started being short of breath. If you have been following us, you know the basics: he was admitted on May 30 for sepsis originating from his central IV line which then spread to his artificial heart valve. The plan was to do IV antibiotics for six weeks at home and then re-evaluate the heart valve to determine if it needed to be replaced and if it did, could they do it via catheter or does it have to be open heart.
Well, it’s only been a week and a half. So that really sucks.
So, not much to report other than he’s back in the hospital. They will do an ekg, an echo, and probably a TEE tomorrow. The results of those will determine the next course of action. We are not going to assume anything.
So for those of you that ask for something specific to pray for, I guess just that we get answers? And that the hospital doesn’t go on lockdown which they say it is going to due to rising covid numbers. I can’t handle even the thought of that happening. Just social distance, wash your hands, and wear your @!*! masks people! It really is a simple thing to ask. And don’t even debate with me about the effectiveness of them. It won’t be pretty, I promise. You can talk to me about it when you are not allowed to be with your loved one when they are fighting for their life. Then and only then. Thanks.
Sorry, but not really. My PTSS is rearing it’s ugly head again. Yes, hospital stays are the norm for us. Yes, we have been through this so very many times. Yes, he has always bounced back. But no, it does not get any easier. In fact, it has gotten harder to deal with. Every time you wonder, is this it? Is there one more miracle in the cards for Brent? We pray there is. In the midst of so much hatred, confusion and turmoil in our world, we are here, and this is our own turmoil. We fight it every single day of our lives. Thanks for fighting with us, praying for us, and just being there with us. Again.
Thursday, June 18, 2020
I apologize for not keeping you up to date. There really isn’t much to update.
We’re just in a hurry up and wait mode. Brent came home five days ago. For six weeks he is on the two heavy duty IV antibiotics. He had a PICC line put in before coming home so he can infuse his normal TPN every night. Over the six weeks he will have blood work and cultures done regularly. We also have appts with the infectious disease doc and heart surgeon.
After the six weeks the docs will re-evaluate and test and decide if his heart valve needs to be replaced. And then, if it does, they need to decide if he is a candidate for the replacement via a catheter or if he has to have full open heart surgery.
So, that’s the scoop. We are just chillin at home. He has lots of zoom work meetings and I’m bored to death. My babies come and visit and that always makes for a good day.
We are always on edge. We pray for the best but inevitably expect the worst. We’ve just been let down so many times. Anything that can go wrong usually does. . . And then some. 🤷🏻♀️ Don’t misunderstand, we truly are grateful for our blessings. We just seem take the hard road most of the time.
We’ll let you know if and when anything exciting happens. We really are glad to be home. We really are glad that we have a plan B. We really are glad to be alive in this crazy mixed up world.
We’re just in a hurry up and wait mode. Brent came home five days ago. For six weeks he is on the two heavy duty IV antibiotics. He had a PICC line put in before coming home so he can infuse his normal TPN every night. Over the six weeks he will have blood work and cultures done regularly. We also have appts with the infectious disease doc and heart surgeon.
After the six weeks the docs will re-evaluate and test and decide if his heart valve needs to be replaced. And then, if it does, they need to decide if he is a candidate for the replacement via a catheter or if he has to have full open heart surgery.
So, that’s the scoop. We are just chillin at home. He has lots of zoom work meetings and I’m bored to death. My babies come and visit and that always makes for a good day.
We are always on edge. We pray for the best but inevitably expect the worst. We’ve just been let down so many times. Anything that can go wrong usually does. . . And then some. 🤷🏻♀️ Don’t misunderstand, we truly are grateful for our blessings. We just seem take the hard road most of the time.
We’ll let you know if and when anything exciting happens. We really are glad to be home. We really are glad that we have a plan B. We really are glad to be alive in this crazy mixed up world.
Saturday, June 13, 2020
Long post. Sorry, not sorry.
Well, most of you already know that Brent came home today. The final decision was to send him home on the two IV antibiotics for six weeks. He will have regular blood cultures and echos to check the heart valve.
We are happy to be home. Real food. Real bed. Less worry about viral germs.
That being said, our anxiety levels are through the roof. All of the what if’s. No button to push should something go wrong. This happens every time. So, as happy as we are to be home, it presents a whole different set of emotions and fears. I’m extremely happy to not have to drive the freeway mess through Lehi twice a day.
So, a little question and answer session for you because I get asked these things all the time.
* Does Brent eat real food? Yes, he does. Brent only has about two feet of his small intestine left and about half of his colon. Most of the nutrients in what he eats does not get absorbed due to the lack of intestine. He eats because it keeps his liver happy. Most of Brents nutrition comes form TPN which is a pinpointed formula just for him that gets infused through a central line for 11 hours every night. We are truly thankful for modern medicine. There was a year where Brent could not eat or drink anything at all. That was followed by another year of eating only homemade soup that we puréed and put through two strainers. Now he can eat normal food with some restrictions.
* Is this all because of Crohn’s Disease? Ultimately, yes. After a routine bowel resection surgery 14 years ago, Brents intestine ruptured, which lead to at least a dozen more abdominal surgeries to repair the damage. Thus, the lack of intestine.
* Can he have a transplant? Well, yes, they do intestinal transplants. They are extremely risky and the mortality rate is not good. We have met with a transplant team at UCLA and he is in their records. He is not on a transplant list. There a few things that qualifies one for an intestinal transplant. Lack of IV access for TPN. Liver failure (TPN is exptremely harsh on the liver.) almost all intestinal transplants are combined with a liver transplant. We would have to live in L.A. for a year. This is not a cure for Crohn’s Disease either. He would still have Crohn’s but with a new heathy gut. This transplant can only come from an organ donor who has died. Interestingly, a live donor can donate to a child needing a transplant.
* why does Brent keep defying all odds and making a comeback? Ok, this is a question we ask ourselves, not a question you have asked us. We honestly do not have an answer to that. We are in awe of the number of times he has been so very close to death, but truly miraculously came back to us. We recognize the hand of God in all things. We recognize that our family has had an over abundance of blessings and innumerable real life miracles over the past 14 years. Perhaps not the miracle or blessing that we hoped for and fervently prayed for but miracles nonetheless. Re recognize them each day and give thanks for another day. We also know that we are no more deserving of these blessings than anyone of you. Our hearts hurt when we think about our family and friends who have lost their loved ones to various circumstances. Why weren’t their loved ones spared pain and suffering and the sting of death? They are so loved and also had so much still to accomplish and offer in this life. They are no less worthy or deserving than we are. We truly wish we could answer this question. It is one of those questions that sometimes haunts us. We just have to trust in the Lord and know that these questions will be addressed and answered some day.
We love you and are so indebted to so many. You will never know how much we pray for you and pray that you, too, are being blessed for your service and love and prayers in our behalf. We are definitely not out of the woods, but we are home.
Well, most of you already know that Brent came home today. The final decision was to send him home on the two IV antibiotics for six weeks. He will have regular blood cultures and echos to check the heart valve.
We are happy to be home. Real food. Real bed. Less worry about viral germs.
That being said, our anxiety levels are through the roof. All of the what if’s. No button to push should something go wrong. This happens every time. So, as happy as we are to be home, it presents a whole different set of emotions and fears. I’m extremely happy to not have to drive the freeway mess through Lehi twice a day.
So, a little question and answer session for you because I get asked these things all the time.
* Does Brent eat real food? Yes, he does. Brent only has about two feet of his small intestine left and about half of his colon. Most of the nutrients in what he eats does not get absorbed due to the lack of intestine. He eats because it keeps his liver happy. Most of Brents nutrition comes form TPN which is a pinpointed formula just for him that gets infused through a central line for 11 hours every night. We are truly thankful for modern medicine. There was a year where Brent could not eat or drink anything at all. That was followed by another year of eating only homemade soup that we puréed and put through two strainers. Now he can eat normal food with some restrictions.
* Is this all because of Crohn’s Disease? Ultimately, yes. After a routine bowel resection surgery 14 years ago, Brents intestine ruptured, which lead to at least a dozen more abdominal surgeries to repair the damage. Thus, the lack of intestine.
* Can he have a transplant? Well, yes, they do intestinal transplants. They are extremely risky and the mortality rate is not good. We have met with a transplant team at UCLA and he is in their records. He is not on a transplant list. There a few things that qualifies one for an intestinal transplant. Lack of IV access for TPN. Liver failure (TPN is exptremely harsh on the liver.) almost all intestinal transplants are combined with a liver transplant. We would have to live in L.A. for a year. This is not a cure for Crohn’s Disease either. He would still have Crohn’s but with a new heathy gut. This transplant can only come from an organ donor who has died. Interestingly, a live donor can donate to a child needing a transplant.
* why does Brent keep defying all odds and making a comeback? Ok, this is a question we ask ourselves, not a question you have asked us. We honestly do not have an answer to that. We are in awe of the number of times he has been so very close to death, but truly miraculously came back to us. We recognize the hand of God in all things. We recognize that our family has had an over abundance of blessings and innumerable real life miracles over the past 14 years. Perhaps not the miracle or blessing that we hoped for and fervently prayed for but miracles nonetheless. Re recognize them each day and give thanks for another day. We also know that we are no more deserving of these blessings than anyone of you. Our hearts hurt when we think about our family and friends who have lost their loved ones to various circumstances. Why weren’t their loved ones spared pain and suffering and the sting of death? They are so loved and also had so much still to accomplish and offer in this life. They are no less worthy or deserving than we are. We truly wish we could answer this question. It is one of those questions that sometimes haunts us. We just have to trust in the Lord and know that these questions will be addressed and answered some day.
We love you and are so indebted to so many. You will never know how much we pray for you and pray that you, too, are being blessed for your service and love and prayers in our behalf. We are definitely not out of the woods, but we are home.
Friday, June 12, 2020
Well, I know you’re all wondering what the decision is. Funny story, so are we. Suffice it to say we had a frustrating day today. They did not do the TEE. They only did a regular echo. We never saw the ID doc or the surgeon so nothing is happening and we don’t know anything. I left at 9:00 with no answers.
Oooooookay, maybe disregard what I just wrote above. I mean, yes, we are frustrated, but I just got a text from Brent. Brent says we have another miracle to report. Dr Caine just came in after performing a surgery on someone else that took longer than expected. He says he was happy with the results of the echo and he is fine with Brent coming home on antibiotics for six weeks with constant blood cultures and echos. If after the six weeks he still feels like the valve needs to be replaced he would consider doing it via a catheter, not open heart. He says when Infectious Disease signs off on him he can come home. Now we don’t know what time frame that is. Hopefully we see them tomorrow.
The miracle is that he doesn’t have to have open heart surgery. The miracle is that sometimes prayers are answered the way we hope. The miracle is that we still have Brent.
So, once again we thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you for prayers in our behalf. Thank you for loving us. Here’s hoping that all continues to go well with negative blood cultures and that he can come home and we can actually get some sleep. We love you.
Oooooookay, maybe disregard what I just wrote above. I mean, yes, we are frustrated, but I just got a text from Brent. Brent says we have another miracle to report. Dr Caine just came in after performing a surgery on someone else that took longer than expected. He says he was happy with the results of the echo and he is fine with Brent coming home on antibiotics for six weeks with constant blood cultures and echos. If after the six weeks he still feels like the valve needs to be replaced he would consider doing it via a catheter, not open heart. He says when Infectious Disease signs off on him he can come home. Now we don’t know what time frame that is. Hopefully we see them tomorrow.
The miracle is that he doesn’t have to have open heart surgery. The miracle is that sometimes prayers are answered the way we hope. The miracle is that we still have Brent.
So, once again we thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you for prayers in our behalf. Thank you for loving us. Here’s hoping that all continues to go well with negative blood cultures and that he can come home and we can actually get some sleep. We love you.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
Well, there’s really not a lot to report. Sorry for the lack of updates. Right now it’s still just a boring waiting game.
Brent is on two new IV antibiotics, daptomycin and ceftaroline. The goal right now is to achieve negative blood cultures, thus hopefully sterilizing the heart valve. Tomorrow he will undergo a TEE (not positive since the doc this morning said something different) to determine if the valve is functioning at full capacity again and if they can see any bacterial growth on it. IF the results are good, he will most likely not need open heart surgery to replace the valve. IF, however, there is still growth on the valve and it is not functioning properly, they will schedule open heart surgery for early next week. That is our understanding as of right now. But as in all things, plans can change.
Obviously we are fervently praying for him to not need the surgery. Unfortunately prayers are not always answered as we would like them to be. We put our trust in God and know that whatever happens we will be given the strength and ability to come out stronger and better than we were before. That’s been proven way too many times. Sometimes the miracle we are praying for or hoping for is not The miracle that we receive. But it is given and received nonetheless.
So, while we are just chillin in 804, Brent keeps busy by working and watching food shows on TV. His work zoom photo is not of him in his spiffy hospital gown, but of Waldorf from the Muppets. Go figure. I have books and a puzzle and lots of unhealthy snacks and Diet Pepsi to keep me happy.
Thanks for checking on us. We appreciate all of you. You’ll never know how much.
Brent is on two new IV antibiotics, daptomycin and ceftaroline. The goal right now is to achieve negative blood cultures, thus hopefully sterilizing the heart valve. Tomorrow he will undergo a TEE (not positive since the doc this morning said something different) to determine if the valve is functioning at full capacity again and if they can see any bacterial growth on it. IF the results are good, he will most likely not need open heart surgery to replace the valve. IF, however, there is still growth on the valve and it is not functioning properly, they will schedule open heart surgery for early next week. That is our understanding as of right now. But as in all things, plans can change.
Obviously we are fervently praying for him to not need the surgery. Unfortunately prayers are not always answered as we would like them to be. We put our trust in God and know that whatever happens we will be given the strength and ability to come out stronger and better than we were before. That’s been proven way too many times. Sometimes the miracle we are praying for or hoping for is not The miracle that we receive. But it is given and received nonetheless.
So, while we are just chillin in 804, Brent keeps busy by working and watching food shows on TV. His work zoom photo is not of him in his spiffy hospital gown, but of Waldorf from the Muppets. Go figure. I have books and a puzzle and lots of unhealthy snacks and Diet Pepsi to keep me happy.
Thanks for checking on us. We appreciate all of you. You’ll never know how much.
Monday, June 8, 2020
So, we haven’t posted anything for a few days. Sorry to those of you sitting on the edge of your seats. Kidding.
We were trying to process some news we got the other day. Unfortunately the bacteria has made its way to Brents artificial heart valve. That is the one thing we were praying wouldn’t happen. After a week of being on vancomycin he still was having positive blood cultures even after the central line was removed. The TEE they did showed growth on the valve. The Dr and ID Doc on call told us that Brent would have to have the valve replaced via another open heart surgery. That was pretty devastating news to hear. We were kind of in shock. All day today we’ve been waiting for Brent’s heart surgeon to come in and tell us what the plan is, fully expecting to be headed in for open heart surgery tomorrow. He came in about an hour ago after consulting with Brent’s ID Dr and cardiologist. We truly love Dr Caine and have full confidence in him. We were so blessed six years ago that he was on call at the hospital when Brent critically needed him. He proposed another option.
There is an outside possibility that he may not have to have open heart surgery. Dr Dascomb (ID) and Dr Caine (surgeon) have decided to add two antibiotics to the treatment. If he starts having negative cultures (they are still running positive as of today) then A) he can get a PICC line put in so he can start his own TPN mix and be nutritionally boosted should he need surgery, and B) if the cultures stay negative, and the valve is sterilized by the antibiotics, he thinks he could do a valve replacement via catheter and not open heart.
That obviously is the preferred option, but it all depends on how the new antibiotics affect the bacteria. So, obviously we are hoping for this scenario, but we may still have to do the full open heart.
For now he gets to stay in the hospital and cool his jets for awhile waiting to see how affective the IV antibiotics are. They will re-evaluate at the end of the week and do another TEE to assess the valve. If the antibiotics are ineffective they will have to do the full surgery at the beginning of next week.
Personal side note. (It’s my blog and I can do what I want, right?). I’ve truly struggled this past week, especially after fervently praying for the bacteria not to attack the heart valve, and then learning that it has. I’ve had a few emotional breakdowns. I think I’ve earned them. I asked our good friends who just happen to be our Stake President and Bishop to give me a blessing last night. After talking things out with them I was reminded that we have been richly blessed the past 14 years. We all know Brent has been living on borrowed time and we have seen miracle after miracle resulting in his life being spared too many times to count. I previously asked our Bishop if there are any miracles left in the stash. He responded, “Brent has shown there is no cap on miracles!” We’ve been cursed as well, but the blessings far outweigh the tragedies. Other people’s lives have been changed for the better. I also chatted with my dear friend today who sadly lost his sweet wife recently. He was able to answer my question and put things into perspective in a way I’ve never thought of before. Suffice it to say I’ve been humbled. I’ve been taught. I’ve been blessed. I’ve been loved. We have such a huge support system and I am so blessed to call you all my family and friends.
Brent commented a minute ago that when he was texting his coworkers he always says “we” when referring to what’s happening. I tend to do that too even though it’s his body that fails him. We are a team. We go through all of this together. Thank you all for being part of our team. Your prayers, support, love, service, thoughts and strength are what keeps us going. Thanks for sticking with us. It’s been quite the journey. We know that if this does ultimately lead to another open heart surgery you’ll still be there praying. Thank you. For now we just wait.
We were trying to process some news we got the other day. Unfortunately the bacteria has made its way to Brents artificial heart valve. That is the one thing we were praying wouldn’t happen. After a week of being on vancomycin he still was having positive blood cultures even after the central line was removed. The TEE they did showed growth on the valve. The Dr and ID Doc on call told us that Brent would have to have the valve replaced via another open heart surgery. That was pretty devastating news to hear. We were kind of in shock. All day today we’ve been waiting for Brent’s heart surgeon to come in and tell us what the plan is, fully expecting to be headed in for open heart surgery tomorrow. He came in about an hour ago after consulting with Brent’s ID Dr and cardiologist. We truly love Dr Caine and have full confidence in him. We were so blessed six years ago that he was on call at the hospital when Brent critically needed him. He proposed another option.
There is an outside possibility that he may not have to have open heart surgery. Dr Dascomb (ID) and Dr Caine (surgeon) have decided to add two antibiotics to the treatment. If he starts having negative cultures (they are still running positive as of today) then A) he can get a PICC line put in so he can start his own TPN mix and be nutritionally boosted should he need surgery, and B) if the cultures stay negative, and the valve is sterilized by the antibiotics, he thinks he could do a valve replacement via catheter and not open heart.
That obviously is the preferred option, but it all depends on how the new antibiotics affect the bacteria. So, obviously we are hoping for this scenario, but we may still have to do the full open heart.
For now he gets to stay in the hospital and cool his jets for awhile waiting to see how affective the IV antibiotics are. They will re-evaluate at the end of the week and do another TEE to assess the valve. If the antibiotics are ineffective they will have to do the full surgery at the beginning of next week.
Personal side note. (It’s my blog and I can do what I want, right?). I’ve truly struggled this past week, especially after fervently praying for the bacteria not to attack the heart valve, and then learning that it has. I’ve had a few emotional breakdowns. I think I’ve earned them. I asked our good friends who just happen to be our Stake President and Bishop to give me a blessing last night. After talking things out with them I was reminded that we have been richly blessed the past 14 years. We all know Brent has been living on borrowed time and we have seen miracle after miracle resulting in his life being spared too many times to count. I previously asked our Bishop if there are any miracles left in the stash. He responded, “Brent has shown there is no cap on miracles!” We’ve been cursed as well, but the blessings far outweigh the tragedies. Other people’s lives have been changed for the better. I also chatted with my dear friend today who sadly lost his sweet wife recently. He was able to answer my question and put things into perspective in a way I’ve never thought of before. Suffice it to say I’ve been humbled. I’ve been taught. I’ve been blessed. I’ve been loved. We have such a huge support system and I am so blessed to call you all my family and friends.
Brent commented a minute ago that when he was texting his coworkers he always says “we” when referring to what’s happening. I tend to do that too even though it’s his body that fails him. We are a team. We go through all of this together. Thank you all for being part of our team. Your prayers, support, love, service, thoughts and strength are what keeps us going. Thanks for sticking with us. It’s been quite the journey. We know that if this does ultimately lead to another open heart surgery you’ll still be there praying. Thank you. For now we just wait.
Friday, June 5, 2020
So sorry for not updating.
There’s not a lot to update. Brent is still in the hospital. Usually no news means good news. However, this time it just means I didn’t feel like writing anything. Brent’s blood cultures keep coming back positive which is baffling since he’s been on the IV antibiotics for almost a week now. He has not had any fevers which is good. Normally we could just go home with the antibiotics. Unfortunately this bug is prone to attach to things like his artificial heart valve and his central line. The line is gone, so that’s one less thing to worry about. Tomorrow Brent will have a TEE (Transesophageal echocardiography (TEE) is a test that produces pictures of your heart. TEE uses high-frequency sound waves (ultrasound) to make detailed pictures of your heart and the arteries that lead to and from it.).
This is done by going down through the esophagus and looking at the heart from the inside. It gives them a clearer picture of the valve. This will rule out endocarditis on the heart valve.
Hopefully they will feel better about sending him home if that proves negative.
If you’re still hanging in there with us, pray for negative cultures tomorrow and a negative TEE result. Thanks ever so much. We love you.
There’s not a lot to update. Brent is still in the hospital. Usually no news means good news. However, this time it just means I didn’t feel like writing anything. Brent’s blood cultures keep coming back positive which is baffling since he’s been on the IV antibiotics for almost a week now. He has not had any fevers which is good. Normally we could just go home with the antibiotics. Unfortunately this bug is prone to attach to things like his artificial heart valve and his central line. The line is gone, so that’s one less thing to worry about. Tomorrow Brent will have a TEE (Transesophageal echocardiography (TEE) is a test that produces pictures of your heart. TEE uses high-frequency sound waves (ultrasound) to make detailed pictures of your heart and the arteries that lead to and from it.).
This is done by going down through the esophagus and looking at the heart from the inside. It gives them a clearer picture of the valve. This will rule out endocarditis on the heart valve.
Hopefully they will feel better about sending him home if that proves negative.
If you’re still hanging in there with us, pray for negative cultures tomorrow and a negative TEE result. Thanks ever so much. We love you.
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
So, much to our dismay, today Brents central line was removed. We had decided that it was better to remove the line and reduce the risk of the bacteria attaching to the heart valve. The Dr agreed and so this afternoon they removed it. It was not easy. Poor Brent. 😢
Now it’s just another waiting game to see what his body does. The antibiotic he is on is the best one for this bacteria. Now we just need clean culture results. He can’t go home without either a PICC or another central line in his chest for his TPN. They won’t put another one in until the cultures are clean. Ugh.
So, if ya wanna pray for something specific, pray A) that the bacteria does not attack the heart valve and B) that the antibiotic works a bit harder to kill the bacteria still in his blood. Here’s hoping for a good day tomorrow.
Now it’s just another waiting game to see what his body does. The antibiotic he is on is the best one for this bacteria. Now we just need clean culture results. He can’t go home without either a PICC or another central line in his chest for his TPN. They won’t put another one in until the cultures are clean. Ugh.
So, if ya wanna pray for something specific, pray A) that the bacteria does not attack the heart valve and B) that the antibiotic works a bit harder to kill the bacteria still in his blood. Here’s hoping for a good day tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 2, 2020
We should be used to set backs and disappointment. It has happened too many times to count.
We should be used to being in that .001% of things that it never happens to. Murphy’s Law.
We should be used to that look on the Dr.’s face that says, “I have bad news.”
We should be used to miscommunication and nurse/aide mishaps.
We should be used to being forced to change our norm. Hell, we don’t even know what normal is anymore.
We should be used to bad hospital food. (We’ve had worse, much worse.)
We should be used to dropping everything and driving way too fast to the hospital because Brent is running a fever.
We should be used to Brent crashing so hard and so fast that you start to wonder if this is the one he won’t bounce back from.
As depressing as all that sounds, and yes, ok, we are a bit depressed right now, there are many more things we definitely ARE used to. You can substitute “thankful for” for “used to.”
We are used to feeling the love and prayers from all of you. It’s a real thing. Honestly.
We are used to good modern medicine that has kept Brent alive over the past 14 years.
We are used to a good medical team. (Sometimes we get bad dr.s and nurses, but this time they are top notch.)
We are used to those around us stopping whatever they are doing to see to our needs.
We are used to answered prayers that come in the form of a text, phone call, random acts of service, etc.
We are used to hundreds of Priesthood blessings at the hands of our dear sons and friends.
We are used to Brent bouncing back against all odds. Seriously though.
We are used to coming home feeling relieved and oh so blessed.
We are used to feeling humbled that when he crashes hard and fast, he normally comes back just as fast.
We are used to just holding each other thankful for another chance at life.
With all that stuff said (sorry, sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed with both sadness and gratitude.)🤷♀️We were told earlier this afternoon that he was going home. Arrangements were being made for the at home antibiotics. Orders were supposedly being written up for discharge. Enter the Infectious Disease doc. ☹️ The blood cultures from the peripheral tests showed up positive today. That means the bacteria is in his bloodstream and not just in the central line. Because this particular bug likes to cling to foreign objects in the body, like the line itself, there is also danger of it attacking the artificial heart valve. With that being the case, we have to repeat the cultures and wait 48 hours to see if they are negative. If not, we have to go with the other plan and have the central line removed and a PICC put in. (I’m not sure why I say “we” when Brent is the one being poked and laying in the hospital bed.) As much as this all sucks, we are thankful that the doc is being mindful of the danger/risk and is being cautious. Our favorite saying...it is what it is. Nothing we can do about it.
So, if you’re still with us, and still praying, could you pray that the cultures are negative? That would be awesome. Throw in a good word for our morale too. This gets kinda old kinda fast.
💞
We should be used to being in that .001% of things that it never happens to. Murphy’s Law.
We should be used to that look on the Dr.’s face that says, “I have bad news.”
We should be used to miscommunication and nurse/aide mishaps.
We should be used to being forced to change our norm. Hell, we don’t even know what normal is anymore.
We should be used to bad hospital food. (We’ve had worse, much worse.)
We should be used to dropping everything and driving way too fast to the hospital because Brent is running a fever.
We should be used to Brent crashing so hard and so fast that you start to wonder if this is the one he won’t bounce back from.
As depressing as all that sounds, and yes, ok, we are a bit depressed right now, there are many more things we definitely ARE used to. You can substitute “thankful for” for “used to.”
We are used to feeling the love and prayers from all of you. It’s a real thing. Honestly.
We are used to good modern medicine that has kept Brent alive over the past 14 years.
We are used to a good medical team. (Sometimes we get bad dr.s and nurses, but this time they are top notch.)
We are used to those around us stopping whatever they are doing to see to our needs.
We are used to answered prayers that come in the form of a text, phone call, random acts of service, etc.
We are used to hundreds of Priesthood blessings at the hands of our dear sons and friends.
We are used to Brent bouncing back against all odds. Seriously though.
We are used to coming home feeling relieved and oh so blessed.
We are used to feeling humbled that when he crashes hard and fast, he normally comes back just as fast.
We are used to just holding each other thankful for another chance at life.
With all that stuff said (sorry, sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed with both sadness and gratitude.)🤷♀️We were told earlier this afternoon that he was going home. Arrangements were being made for the at home antibiotics. Orders were supposedly being written up for discharge. Enter the Infectious Disease doc. ☹️ The blood cultures from the peripheral tests showed up positive today. That means the bacteria is in his bloodstream and not just in the central line. Because this particular bug likes to cling to foreign objects in the body, like the line itself, there is also danger of it attacking the artificial heart valve. With that being the case, we have to repeat the cultures and wait 48 hours to see if they are negative. If not, we have to go with the other plan and have the central line removed and a PICC put in. (I’m not sure why I say “we” when Brent is the one being poked and laying in the hospital bed.) As much as this all sucks, we are thankful that the doc is being mindful of the danger/risk and is being cautious. Our favorite saying...it is what it is. Nothing we can do about it.
So, if you’re still with us, and still praying, could you pray that the cultures are negative? That would be awesome. Throw in a good word for our morale too. This gets kinda old kinda fast.
💞
Monday, June 1, 2020
Quick update. Brents doing well today. We’ve been waiting to talk to the infectious disease doc before posting so we know what’s going on.
The bacteria in his central IV lines is one that he’s had before. In fact, it is the same one that caused his endocarditis that tried to kill him and subsequently caused his open heart surgery for a valve replacement. Yippee. Not.
We were given two options. A) Remove the line, get a PICC line put in for his TPN (IV nutrition he does every night), be on IV antibiotics for five days, re-test via blood cultures, put the Central line back in when safe to do so. B) do NOT remove the central line, run IV antibiotics continuously through the lines for 14 days (at home, not in the hospital) still being able to use one of the lines for tpn every night, re-test via blood cultures and if negative, he’s good to go.
We chose plan B.
Both plans create different complications to consider. If the lines are removed, he has to have a PICC line put in. He has already lost most of his access points in his arms for PICC’s. And every time you remove his central Hickman line it reduces his access also. One of the major qualifications for an intestinal transplant is major loss of IV access. While a transplant sounds like a great ‘cure’ or option, it is not. Intestinal transplants are very risky and there are so many things to take into account. It is not a cure. He would still have Crohn’s Disease but with a fresh new intestine to wreak havoc in. Ultimately we would have to live in Los Angeles for a year to be near UCLA. That is the hospital that we chose several years ago to have a transplant when and if the time ever comes. He is not on a formal transplant waiting list, but he is in their system and we have been down there to meet with their transplant team.
So, we are going with plan B. It’s not ideal and will be a pain. This particular antibiotic affects him terribly and I will have to watch him carefully. This bacteria tends to love foreign objects such as his heart valve and central line. We will have to make sure that it is totally gone before discontinuing the antibiotic. They will do an echo today to make sure there is no growth on the heart valve. It will be repeated after the 14 days.
So, that’s the scoop. Hopefully the echo will be clean and they can get things ordered and set up for home and we can go home tomorrow. 🤞🙏.
He’s currently dialed in to a zoom staff meeting so I think you can safely say he’s bored and doing much better. 🤣.
Thanks for checking in on us. Love you.
The bacteria in his central IV lines is one that he’s had before. In fact, it is the same one that caused his endocarditis that tried to kill him and subsequently caused his open heart surgery for a valve replacement. Yippee. Not.
We were given two options. A) Remove the line, get a PICC line put in for his TPN (IV nutrition he does every night), be on IV antibiotics for five days, re-test via blood cultures, put the Central line back in when safe to do so. B) do NOT remove the central line, run IV antibiotics continuously through the lines for 14 days (at home, not in the hospital) still being able to use one of the lines for tpn every night, re-test via blood cultures and if negative, he’s good to go.
We chose plan B.
Both plans create different complications to consider. If the lines are removed, he has to have a PICC line put in. He has already lost most of his access points in his arms for PICC’s. And every time you remove his central Hickman line it reduces his access also. One of the major qualifications for an intestinal transplant is major loss of IV access. While a transplant sounds like a great ‘cure’ or option, it is not. Intestinal transplants are very risky and there are so many things to take into account. It is not a cure. He would still have Crohn’s Disease but with a fresh new intestine to wreak havoc in. Ultimately we would have to live in Los Angeles for a year to be near UCLA. That is the hospital that we chose several years ago to have a transplant when and if the time ever comes. He is not on a formal transplant waiting list, but he is in their system and we have been down there to meet with their transplant team.
So, we are going with plan B. It’s not ideal and will be a pain. This particular antibiotic affects him terribly and I will have to watch him carefully. This bacteria tends to love foreign objects such as his heart valve and central line. We will have to make sure that it is totally gone before discontinuing the antibiotic. They will do an echo today to make sure there is no growth on the heart valve. It will be repeated after the 14 days.
So, that’s the scoop. Hopefully the echo will be clean and they can get things ordered and set up for home and we can go home tomorrow. 🤞🙏.
He’s currently dialed in to a zoom staff meeting so I think you can safely say he’s bored and doing much better. 🤣.
Thanks for checking in on us. Love you.
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