I know it's been a couple of weeks since last posting. Usually that means all is well. Not really. Brent is still battling severe anemia. He had another 2 units of blood at UVRMC, and that helped for a few days. He is back down again, and has no energy whatsoever. The Dr. took him off all meds to see if he was reaching a toxic level with the azathioprine and Humira. That didn't seem to make a difference, and the blood test showed he was at the appropriate levels so now he is back on the azathioprine, and he upped the prednisone to 40. Woo-hoo. Not. Prednisone is the medication from hell. Anyone who has ever been on it knows. Brent has been on various doses of prednisone for 30 years. It is an awful drug that does awful things to your body and your spirit. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it works.

I am sure he will end up back in for more blood this week. Someone needs to figure out why he cannot produce red blood cells and what exactly is going on. It's crazy.

If you like to give blood, please do so. We have already used 6 units. Thanks.

Hopefully this week will bring some improvement and some answers. There was a talk given in church yesterday and the speaker reiterated the fact that we often don't know why things happen, when they happen, and for what purpose they serve. We may never know. I have a really hard time with that. I like concrete answers. Our amazing, most humble Stake Patriarch also spoke yesterday. He is dying of terminal cancer. He has accepted that fact, and is making the very best of it. He is at peace with it. I was very impressed with his talk. Unfortunately, with Brent, we never know the future outcome of each episode we go through. There is always that fear, deep down, that he will not survive, but it is always so uncertain. We are always extremely thankful that he does survive, don't get me wrong. It is just that great unknown that bugs the heck out of me.When most people receive a diagnosis of an illness it is either curable or it isn't, or at least they are given a percentage of survival rate. With Brent, nobody knows. There are just too many unknown variables in the equation. Someday, hopefully, he will receive a transplant. That, too, is an unknown variable. The hows, the whens, and the logistics of it all are too much to comprehend.

You might ask, "Where is your faith?" Don't worry, I ask myself that quite frequently. Do I lack faith because I question the events that take place? Do I lack faith because I fear the unknown? Do I lack faith when I wake up each day and wonder what is going to happen today? Probably. Do I have faith in my God? Do I have faith that He loves me and cares for me? Do I have faith that all things are in His hands? Do I have faith that no matter what does happen amongst all of our unknowns, that we will be sustained and blessed? Absolutely. It doesn't make everything all peachy, but it does help.

We honestly do appreciate all of the support we get. I am constantly amazed at how many people check the blog. We are not all that exciting to read about, but I know that you care about Brent, and like to keep tabs on how he is doing. If you have a little extra time, pray for him. Thanks.

Lisa